How to Gracefully Wear a Short Mini Skirt

Simone enjoys fashion and fashion accessories. She also finds garments to be more about strategy than stereotypes.

Short skirts have manifold benefits. They're convenient. They're fun. They're cute. And they're very easy to move around in. Short miniskirts are the cutting edge in short-skirt living. They're extra fun. Extra cute. Extra easy to move around in. And let's be honest- if you're not living on the edge, you're taking up too much room.

Alas, living on the edge is dangerous. And because short mini skirts are so... short... the reckless souls wearing them do run a higher risk of looking ridiculous / bad / trampy / gross / distasteful, and downright inelegant.

Luckily, miniskirt hazards can be minimized. All you have to do is keep a handful of precautions in mind when donning them. With just an ounce of extra foresight and the right attitude, maneuvers, and mindset, you can wear a short mini skirt with majestic grace—danger be damned!

Get Some Attitude!

Apparently, folks have this odd impression that miniskirts are all about making a statement. I personally see them as more of a way of life but to each his own.

No matter how you see miniskirts or the wearing thereof, you will have to be prepared to contend with others' reactions to your way of dress. Some will admonish you about hemlines. Others will ask you if you're cold. Others will say... other stuff. I recommend responding to all critiques and comments with benign ignorance—that's what I do. But you may also choose to respond with evil grins, colorful vitriol, or violent retribution.

No matter how you respond to others' commentary on your apparel, you must respond with attitude. You, as a miniskirt wearer, are acting as an ambassador to the world on behalf of all miniskirt kind. Represent us well. We have a reputation to keep up, and develop.

Seating Hazards

Short mini skirts do absolutely nothing to provide a barrier between your pantied bum and whatever surface you sit on. You might not find this to be particularly troublesome, however, some surfaces, such as seats on public transport, park benches, and the ground, are not exactly clean. Other surfaces, such as some chairs and benches that are otherwise free of germs, harbor particulate matter that might stick to your skin (especially if it's humid outside) when it would simply slide off fabric.

It is therefore important to watch where you park your backside when wearing miniskirts. My general rule of thumb is not to sit down at all. This spares one any contact with unclean surfaces, and ALSO spares one from having to think about what she will place on her lap or how she will cross her legs to make sure that... well, that undergarments are not visible from the front end (because yeah, that's another unfortunate side effect of sitting in a short skirt).

Watch Those Stairs!

Another thing about wearing short skirts is that stairs are an issue. Or they are if you don't want people to see too much.

So here's where your ninja skills come into play! Only dart up stairs when nobody else is behind you, and if anyone ever is, maneuver so that you are BEHIND them. If you must walk up stairs in close proximity with another human, and if, god forbid, you cannot walk behind or beside said person, climb as closely in front of them as possible. The further up you are, the more they'll see.

If you're really extreme (read: cool), you can take the ninja moves a step further by throwing sand into the eyes of those behind you on stairs, so that they are blinded as you ascend (or, if you're particularly lucky, they tumble down the stairs to your great amusement).

Don't Get Too Jumpy

Some gals like to move around a lot. Kicking, dancing, twirling, jumping... whatever. It's good fitness.

Moving is great, but one must move with care when wearing a short mini skirt. There isn't a lot of give, as it were. So one must be sure that the skirt isn't flying up any further than the one or two inches of leeway it offers, coverage-wise. With a bit of practice, anyone will find that this is most manageable.

Of course, one can also take extra precautions by wearing tights for extra coverage. And for ultimate coverage, one can wear leggings. But those somewhat defeat the enjoyment one garners from dangerous, immoral dressing—or at least sneaking about the place wearing practically nothing. It is a trade-off one must consider carefully.

Watch for Wind

Weather forecasts help one to know when one ought to don wellies and a raincoat, or to grab an umbrella on the way out the door. Weather forecasts also aid one in deciding which type of short skirt to wear.

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If it sounds as though it's going to be a windy day, you had better wear a tight miniskirt. One that won't flutter too high, because wind has a way with loose, fluttery skirts.

Even if the weather is calm, miniskirters still have to keep an eye out for breezes. Air conditioning vents, exhaust pipes, passing vehicles, and, yes, subway vents, are all responsible for bursts of air that can lead to lapses in grace (because not everyone is Marilyn Monroe).

Wear Nice Underoos... or Bike Shorts

If you're wearing a miniskirt, rest assured there will be slip-ups. No matter how graceful you are. And if there are going to be slip-ups, you had best be prepared.

If you're the modest type, wear a pair of bike shorts. The pair shall need to be short, since most miniskirts are shorter than the average pair of bike shorts, but they're still useful!

If you're not so much the modest type, just make sure you're wearing underpants that would not embarrass you. Like the pair with Barney on them or something. Unless you're a hipster, and in that case, proceed.

Be Shameless

Gracefully wearing a short mini skirt takes careful foresight. But it also involves a certain amount of reckless abandon. If you're self-conscious about a short skirt you're wearing, you'll come across as awkward, not graceful. But if you're actively trying to look graceful in a short skirt, you'll come across as preposterous.

The only way to truly wear a miniskirt gracefully is to embrace the hazard. Samurai warriors accepted the fact that, if given a choice between life and death, they would choose death. This enabled them to do everything fearlessly.

If you wear a short skirt, you must accept the fact that you will, at times, look trashy, gross, scandalous, and downright wrong. Once you are at peace with this reality, you can finally flaunt the miniskirt look gracefully. That's just how it works.

Now go forth. And wear skimpy clothing.

© 2011 Simone Haruko Smith

Comments

OhhhLaLa on March 27, 2020:

The m

Patagoniakid on February 26, 2018:

Don't rule out short skirts for men! Men have worn short skirts throughout time far longer than women have. (Rome was built in the equivalent to today's micro mini skirts)!

Short skirts are becoming a trend for guys to wear for running, hiking and sitting. Nothing is more comfortable than a short skirt.... No crotch binding inseams for the first time, cooler than shorts, extreme freedom of movement, most women give a thumbs up. All good. Guys have no clue or they would be wearing short skirts as an alternative to shorts and pants.

As far as a inadvertent flash is concerned men have the exact same issues as women. It's largely a "state of mind". As long as you have the goods covered there is nothing to see thus no issues. It is poor taste to go "redundant" (wearing shorts under skirts). Wear one or the other and not both. It is a sure sign of insecurity and isn't necessary. (Shorts under skirts is a recent sign of the times. Women wore panties under mini skirts for nearly 50 years before this "redundancy" trend started).

Top clothing designers say there are no reasons for men not to wear skirts. All in this article applies to both men and women.

shortshortsdc on July 19, 2014:

Bootie...I have a lot of experience with very very short short cutoffs - and now nicely-hemmed, super-short denim shorts, and I have the same issues you do whenever I sit down. Sometimes I "modesty-tug" at mine, but of course that never works either, but it's fun trying, and it's fun when people are checking me out and clearly having fun with it. I have learned to have fun with it also, and I wear very pretty Victoria Secret panties that are a different color than my short shorts - it makes trying to "not" show them when I sit down all the more exciting. Keep enjoying your very, very short cutoffs!

Line Jensen from Denmark on March 14, 2014:

This hub was so funny, had me laughing several times - and I think, I'll go fetch my miniskirts from the back of my closet now!

Dave on March 03, 2014:

Guys simply don't get aroused seeing another guy no matter what he is wearing or not wearing. Six inch heels are absurd on anyone regardless of their gender. Color coordinated panties are mandatory with short shorts or a micro miniskirt.

Paige Desires from United States on March 02, 2014:

I do love wearing miniskirts and showing off my legs..but your right..do it with grace and style, and knowing there always be somebody thinking you dress trashy..who cares what they think..it's not them who I'm pleasing! It's my lifestyle and fashion..to each there own. As long as I'm comfortable and relaxed and happy with it..that's what counts!

bootie on August 18, 2013:

I'm a young guy who wears a thong and very, very short cutoff jeans instead of a short skirt, along with pointy toe cowboy boots with 6 inch heels. A problem I have is how to gracefully enter and exit my Jeep which is very high off the ground. Sitting is also a problem for me since crossing my legs exposes more than sitting with my legs together. Either way, the very short, tight cutoff jeans shorts are embarrassing to sit in. I try to pull on them to get them down but this doesn't work, either. Pulling on them when I sit actually arouses other guys since I can't get them down. Any suggestions? And don't say "wear longer shorts" because I just won't do it.

kaf9292 on August 03, 2013:

As a guy who frequently wears a skirt I can say that a guy must unlearn several habits that are simply unacceptable especially when wearing a short skirt. A matching color panty is highly recommended. Avoid a c-string since I know from a personal experience that it can become loose for some embarrassing moments especially if you are the only one around who is wearing a skirt or a dress. Avoid pleated minis on a windy day. Sit with a napkin on your lap or a book or something. Use your knees when you drop something rather than bending down from the waist. I probably write a book but the pure comfort has made it all worthwhile and that glorious understanding wife of mine is priceless for her words of advice.

Holly Mackenzie Cupp from United States on August 02, 2013:

Lol I can't get away with wearing most "knee-length" skirts with my long legs and big behind no matter how I stand, sit, or walk the skirt will ride up and bam! hoohah. Mini skirts don't even cover half my bootay. Props to everyone out there who can pull them off, I'll stick to dresses, pencil skirts, and maxi skirts. I found this hub humorous, great writing! =)

stephanie on August 07, 2012:

I have been told I have beautiful long legs. Consequently, I have to admit I like to show them off. One of those ways is with a mini. Yes, they can be challenging at certain times when wind and other obstacles are afoot, but nothing can compare to the sheer thrill of feeling so feminine and 'exposed.' I especially enjoy the looks I get from men. Delicious!

Sexy Diva on April 15, 2012:

I'm a man that likes to shop for short mini skirts and micro mini skirts and sometime I wear a short mini skirt while buying them. I get strange looks from people and I don't care. Those are the tyoe of skirts I wear the most. I learned some tips from reading your hub and looking forward to read more on this subject and keep up the good work. I'm a mini skirt fan and I'll support any man or woman that likes to wear mini skirts like me in any season.

girlwithin on October 29, 2011:

Just wear and enjoy. If you feel good go for it, I do!

Magoichi Saika on October 20, 2011:

The way I see it, the primary reason to wear a mini skirt is to show off your great looking thighs and, as a delightful bonus for your "prayerful" audience, everything else upstairs.

Personally, I would say that all the tips and tricks mentioned up there are a hassle. If you wear mini skirts, be assured that your audience will see what you can't see yourself. Which is neither supposed to be good or bad.

The only problem you should have is what under-thing you should wear underneath to hide your, well, thing.

C'mon, men whistling at you will only be for a short number of years. If you like the whistling but have physical hangups about this attire, time will pass till you can't wear them 'efficiently" anymore.

You'd look back at the days you wished you were more daring so your audience will be astonished at how beautiful your legs were! Plus, this will be part of your good memories!

Juliana on October 17, 2011:

Truth be told!

There is absolutely no way I can hide my long legs and very smooth African skin inside baggy sacks!

I have won mini skirts for the most part. And I feel very confident and good about myself always, when i am in them. I love the feeling, the compliments, much because I either wear them with high heels or nice designer flats or flip flops! There is a way it gives you extra boldness, and btw, anyone most of us mini skirt wearers are bold, and with time become an icon of confidence! yes!

Nothing in the world could stop me from wearing what I love best. I am so glad there are many people like me, and as Simone said, yes, we are ambassadors, and whatever we do with our mini skirt, we should just represent us very well. We have a reputation to protect, a legacy to live and myths to disprove!

Sarah on September 16, 2011:

My husband really loves it when we go out with me dressed in a super-short mini. Some of them actually show my bum cheeks when I walk. I never wear any knickers, so everyone gets a good view. It really turns my husband on, to the degree that we usually have a 'quickie' before we get home. Easy in a miniskirt and no knickers.

Sally Smith on September 16, 2011:

I love to wear really short mini skirts. I wear them all the time. It doesn't bother me if someone manages to look up them when I go up stairs or sit a bit carelessly. And by the way, I never ever wear panties or tights. Absolutely nothing underneath.

Simone Haruko Smith (author) from San Francisco on May 16, 2011:

Glad to find fellow short skirt fans online! Thanks for reading, y'all!

aanchalsharma on May 16, 2011:

Such a wow blog, liked it and i love to wear skirts. :)

girlwithin on May 15, 2011:

I love miniskirts, both to watch and to wear. Nothing beats that illicit glimpse of panties other than giving same. Great article, thank you.

Simone Haruko Smith (author) from San Francisco on May 10, 2011:

Wise words to live by!

Kelly Umphenour from St. Louis, MO on May 10, 2011:

My personal motto is just because you can - doesn't mean you should - but if it looks good wear it:)!! Haha!

Simone Haruko Smith (author) from San Francisco on May 10, 2011:

Yeah! If you've got it, flaunt it! XD Hahaaa

Kelly Umphenour from St. Louis, MO on May 09, 2011:

Hey - shake what your momma gave ya;)! Haha!

Simone Haruko Smith (author) from San Francisco on May 09, 2011:

No way!! Hahaa, that must have been an interesting experience. And yeah, there certainly is something to be said for wearing cute underwear on high-risk days!

Kelly Umphenour from St. Louis, MO on May 09, 2011:

Simone - I actually was standing on a corner waiting to cross in Clayton (business district) when my skirt did blow up - lots of honking and screetching going on:) I started wearing underwear that said something really cute for furture windy days:)

Awesome and fun hub!

Knightheart from MIssouri, USA on May 04, 2011:

Wonderful! It is great! I especially liked the photos! ;P

Simone Haruko Smith (author) from San Francisco on April 30, 2011:

Hurrah! Mission accomplished! Thanks for reading, lisa ann :D

lisa ann from U.S. on April 30, 2011:

i loved this :) it made me laugh AND i got some useful tips out of it

Simone Haruko Smith (author) from San Francisco on April 29, 2011:

Ancilotti - thank you for reading! I assure you that this Hub was meant to be both humorous and practical. Because believe me, the ninja sand trick was tried and tested by Yours Truly. No joke. Works quite well.

And thanks, tireless! I aspire to sassiness, though I have much training ahead of me.

Glad you enjoyed a good short skirt period, Sustainable Sue! Long legs are the best!!

And so true, Hyphenbird - miniskirts are all about shock value. And perhaps it is better when the shock is not a result of inappropriate body-type-to-skirt pairings, hehee ^_^;;

Brenda Barnes from America-Broken But Still Beautiful on April 29, 2011:

Short skirts are great, mini skirts are just shock value. I still believe the old adage, less can be more. And most women really wear them past the age when they can get away with it. I have seen some saggy stuff out there on the street!

Thanks for your great Hub.

Sustainable Sue from Altadena CA, USA on April 29, 2011:

I agree. This was very fun . . . and true. I'm 60 now, but I used to wear really short mini-skirts when I was a teen. I'd discovered I had long legs, so skirts looked shorter on me than they really were. Got lots of whistles, which i liked then. Now I hardly wear skirts at all.

tireless on April 29, 2011:

Fun,sassy and informative. I loved your hub

Ancillotti from Brasil, Vitoria - ES on April 29, 2011:

As much as I have my jealous girlfriend insist on wearing miniskirt and has the excuse that the heat is here. As she is very beautiful, I do not care, but she always wears a short but underneath Irira I have to follow your tip and ninja throwing sand in the eyes of men.

I do not know if it was the intention, but its hub made me laugh. Very funny.

Cheers, Simone!